Life with the Wild Things

Just another mom of 2 boys in a house full of energy!

ADHD and precertification for insurance November 27, 2014


Dear insurance company, government, and who ever else it may concern,

Thank you for your letter received by household Monday, Nov. 24.  Thank you for your response that did not help me at all on Tuesday, Nov. 25.  Here is my understanding of the current situation we are in…

Someone somewhere has decided that Daytrana (methylphenidate transdermal patches) will require precertification as of January 1, 2015.  In order for my son to continue using Daytrana to control his ADHD, our pediatrician must do the following.

1. Step therapy to prove that Daytrana is the best medication for my son.  If someone somewhere who made this decision agrees with our pediatrician, then we can continue to use the medication.

2. My pediatrician can write a justification and ask for an exemption to the step therapy.  Then someone somewhere will decide if my son can continue using Daytrana.  If said someone somewhere decides an exemption is not allowed then we must return to number 1 on the list.

So, please confirm that I understand this correctly.

Said someone somewhere knows my son and his needs how exactly?  See I didn’t know that said someone somewhere referred to as “invisible person” had been with me since my son was born.  I didn’t know that “invisible person” had watched my son suffer in second grade with his behavior problems.  I don’t recall “invisible person” sitting with me in the principal’s office discussing my son’s behavior.  I don’t remember seeing “invisible person” in the meeting to work on the behavior chart.  I don’t remember “invisible person” holding my hand in the pediatrician’s office while we discussed the medication options for my 7 year old.

You see I am having trouble understanding where “invisible person” was during all this.  I am fairly certain “invisible person” didn’t have any issues taking the money out of our check to pay the premium for my insurance.  But, I just don’t remember seeing “invisible person”.

Where were you when I realized that I would have to give my son a schedule 2 narcotic every day to help him succeed in school?  Where are you every month when I have to call in to the doctor’s office, travel to the doctor’s office to pick up the written Rx, go to the pharmacy and have it filled because schedule 2 narcotics require a new Rx every month?  I’m getting older so maybe memory is failing about where you have been during this process with me.

When “invisible person” decided that Daytrana requires all this extra work, did “invisible person” realize that my now 11 year old has excelled with his current medication?  My 11 year old has used Daytrana for 4 years.  He is an honor roll student, in Beta Club, on the science Olympiad team, a member of the first robotics team at his school, a first degree red belt in tae kwon do, and a member of the 6th grade boys basketball team.

My son is at a really good place in his life.  And you want me to take him off his current medication that is obviously working well and try other ADHD meds that you deem cheaper and work “just as well”.  Do you think that we didn’t try this already?  My son has a problem swallowing pills.  In addition, Daytrana patches allow my son to feel like he controls his medicine.  Which gives him a lot more confidence.

So someone somewhere, thanks for putting yourself in the middle of my son’s treatment.  I am sure you can understand my frustration.

Sincerely, Mom doing the best she can

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Travel February 12, 2012

Filed under: Family,Marriage,Motherhood — jdkihlken @ 9:11 PM
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Why is it that no matter how much a need a break from the wild things, I still miss them so very much when I have to go on the road?  Wild Thing, Sr (senior) misses me already… he texted me to say come home come home.

4 hours on the road tonight and I still can’t fall asleep because I missed the good night stories and tucking in the wild things.  I wonder if the wild things miss mommy as much.

Wild Thing Sr gave me an early Valentines Day gift.  He took the wild things for hair cuts when I left town.  WOOHOO.  It’s those little things that make a dad sexy.  Check out www.howtobeadad.com for more on how doing the little chores makes a dad sexy.

Only 1 day out of town.  I should relax.  Paint my nails, condition my hair, go to bed early…but, I keep thinking right now the wild tings are laying in bed and they didn’t hear mommy read their stories, or kiss them good night.  I know they are ok because daddy is there, but it’s not the same.

Hugs and Kisses wild things!

 

 

Mom of boys January 6, 2012

Filed under: Family,Motherhood,The boys — jdkihlken @ 9:34 AM
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If you are the mom of boys…you have to check this site out!!!
http://studerteam.blogspot.com/2011/11/25-rules-for-mothers-of-sons.html?m=0


It’s 25 rules for moms of sons. It is wonderful. I really need this today. Enjoy

 

Movies with a family message December 4, 2011

Filed under: Family,The boys — jdkihlken @ 8:41 PM
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Today we went to the movies.  We saw Happy Feet 2.  It was so cute.  I listen to so many people talk about how the movies today aren’t any good.  How the movies have no purpose.  How bad movies are.

Well, today we provide them WRONG!  We watched a great movie.  The wild things left the movies with a lot of different really great messages.

We talked about what they thought the movie represented in the car.  The wild things pointed out that Eric (Mumble’s son) realized that his dad was his true hero.  It is something they both relate too.  Both wild things think their dad ROCKS.

The wild things loved the way the different types of penguins helped each other.  We talked about how communities help each other.  It doesn’t matter who we are or where we come from…we are all on this big planet together.

There was one character who wasn’t exactly who you thought he was.  A little misrepresentation.  The wild things loved that everyone embraced him even after they knew the truth.

The meaning of the story was there.  You just had to be open to it.  There were stories about how when we all work together we can get more accomplished.  That we each have something inside of us special…we just have to find it.  Love is in the last place you thought it would be.  One event can change the lives of many.  One action can have a huge impact.

I agree not all movies have some deep meaning.  But, that is ok.  Because sometimes you just go to the movies to laugh.  Not to learn anything.  Just to cut loose for a few minutes from the everyday things.  Sometimes…a lot of times… you need that really deep double over laugh that makes your side hurt.  And sometimes, a movie gives you the opportunity to explain a life lesson to the wild things.

 

Life is too Short – Enjoy it while you can November 3, 2011

Filed under: Family,Motherhood — jdkihlken @ 11:00 AM
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My dear friend Keasha sent this to me today.  I felt it was worth posting.

Too many people put off something that brings them joy just because they haven’t thought about it, don’t have it on their schedule, didn’t know it was coming or are too rigid to depart from their routine.

I got to thinking one day about all those people on the Titanic who passed up dessert at dinner that fateful night in an effort to cut
back. From then on, I’ve tried to be a little more flexible.

How many women out there will eat at home because their husband didn’t suggest going out to dinner until after something had been thawed? Does the word ‘refrigeration’ mean nothing to you?

How often have your kids dropped in to talk and sat in silence while you watched ‘Jeopardy’ on television?

I cannot count the times I called my sister and said, ‘How about going to lunch in a half hour?’ She would gas up and stammer, ‘I can’t. I have clothes on the line. My hair is dirty. I wish I had known yesterday, I had a late breakfast, It looks like rain’ And my personal favorite: ‘It’s Monday.’   She died a few years ago. We never did have lunch together.

Because Americans cram so much into their lives, we tend to schedule our headaches … We live on a sparse diet of promises we make to ourselves when all the conditions are perfect!

We’ll go back and visit the grandparents when we get Steve toilet-trained. We’ll entertain when we replace the living-room carpet. We’ll go on a second honeymoon when we get two more kids out of college.

Life has a way of accelerating as we get older. The days get shorter, and the list of promises to ourselves gets longer. One morning, we awaken, and all we have to show for our lives is a litany of ‘I’m going to,’ ‘I plan on,’ and ‘Someday, when things are settled down a bit.’

When anyone calls my ‘seize the moment’ friend, she is open to adventure and available for trips. She keeps an open mind on new ideas. Her enthusiasm for life is contagious. You talk with her for five minutes, and you’re ready to trade your bad feet for a pair of Rollerblades and skip an elevator for a bungee cord..

My lips have not touched ice cream in 10 years. I love ice cream. It’s just that I might as well apply it directly to my stomach with a
spatula and eliminate the digestive process. The other day, I stopped the car and bought a triple-decker. If my car had hit an iceberg on the way home, I would have died happy.

Now …. go on and have a nice day. Do something you WANT to… not something on your SHOULD DO list. If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say?  And why are you waiting?

Have you ever watched kids playing on a merry-go-round or listened to the rain lapping on the ground? Ever followed a butterfly’s erratic flight or gazed at the sun into the fading night? Do you run through each day on the fly? When you ask ‘How are you?’ Do you hear the reply? Have you ever rode a motorcycle through the country on a twisty road on a cool bright day ?

When the day is done, do you lie in your bed with the next hundred chores running through your head? Ever told your child, ‘We’ll do it tomorrow.’ And in your haste, not see his sorrow? Ever lost touch? Let a good friendship die? Just call to say ‘Hi’?

When you worry and hurry through your day, it is like an unopened gift … Thrown away … Life is not a race. Take it slower. Hear the music before the song is over.

‘Life may not be the party we hoped for… but while we are here we might as well dance!’

Enjoy this day.  I plan to!

 

Stages of Motherhood – Part 4 November 2, 2011


And then you transition from Preschool Mommy to Kindergarten Mommy.

The average person would think Preschool Mommy and Kindergarten Mommy are the same, but the rest of us know this isn’t so.

Kindergarten Mommy now has homework and class projects.  It’s the transition from singing the ABCs to knowing the ABCs.  It’s that foundation for reading.  With reading comes knowledge.  With knowledge they can take over the world!

It’s a very scary thought!

There are still tantrums, but Thing 1 is learning to tell you more about what he is feeling and what he needs and what he wants.  He can’t tell the difference between needs and wants, but his vocabulary is growing so much.

Of course, remember this is all about him.  No one is going to ask you what you are feeling, what you need, or what you want.  Remember that ended the day you peed on the stick and the + sign came up.

You are now trying to balance the homework and after school activities.  Oh yes…the activities…because kids that have a sport, music, or other passion don’t do the bad things in high school.  (Personal note here: That better be the case or I have wasted a lot of precious time waiting for practices, games, and swim meets to end!!!)

So the activities…what will Thing 1 do?  My Thing 1 played football at this age but then realized that was outside where it is cold or hot…heaven forbid.  So we found tae kwon do.  I must say depending on the sport it can help at home.  Tae Kwon Do has taught us both discipline.  I learned that even with a self diagnosed case of Adult ADHD (my doctor friends just leave that alone I am vicariously living my doc dreams through you) I can actual sit for an hour.  Thing 1 learned that Mommy can actual sit still for an hour.  Oh no, that isn’t it.  He learned discipline and ways to control his own ADHD.  Thing 2 learned that he would rather participate with Thing 1 than wait for him to get out of class.  I am sure there is another lesson in there somewhere.

Of course after an attempt at football by Thing 1, Thing 2 could not be out done.  Thing 2 took up soccer and tae kwon do.  Because hey if mom can balance one activity for the first kid, what is two activities at 5 years old for the second one??!!

So, you have the homework and the afternoon activities and your work.  Now that Thing 1 is in Kindergarten and learning to read and getting home later because of activities, Thing 1 starts to point out McDonald’s and Chic-Fil-A, etc on the way home.  Why can’t we stop there?  Comes the whine from the backseat.  How do you respond with Because Mommy’s hips can’t take another night of fried fast food!  We live 30 minutes out-of-town.  On the quick way home we pass approximately 15 drive thrus 4 nights a week.  By the time I get home I can’t remember if that is whine or WINE.

You finally get home, finish the school work, and then its time for flash cards, sight words, reading a bed time story and practice writing your name, oh no, Thing 1’s name.

By 8 something you finally pull up the covers to do the nightly tuck in.  Then the dance for 15 minutes of no more water, no more potty, no more getting out of bed.  At this point you are missing the crib and those other sleepless nights.

Sometime after 10 PM with the school uniforms washed and the remnants of the day washed off of you, you fall into an unmade bed.  Peace…

Then it starts over.

But the best part of the Kindergarten Mommy is when Thing 1 is learning to write and says How do I spell I love Mom?  And then you remember this Stage, too, is well worth Motherhood.  Because no matter how tired, how drained, how wiped out you are, seeing I LOVE YOU MOM in 5-year-old hand writing melts you.

 

Stages of Motherhood – Part 3 October 17, 2011


The next phase is the Preschool Mommy.  You finally made it through the Terrible Twos just to find out that someone forgot to mention the phase continues into the threes.  Now it is time for new milestones.  Preschool and Potty Training!  Oh Yes!  The fun is really beginning.  Everyone has advice on how to get Thing 1 to go to the potty.  Since I have boys, I have no idea how you moms of girls get them to use the potty.  But my favorite suggestion is the Cheerios in the toilet.  The little boys try to pee on the Cheerios.  And we are potty trained!  Well, it wasn’t that easy.  But it wasn’t too bad.  The advantages…no more diapers and pull ups.  The disadvantages…you now have to stop at every bathroom you pass so Thing 1 can check it out.  That 30 minute shopping trip now takes an hour.

Now that potty training is complete, it’s time to start preschool.  They would not take Thing 1 until you could check that box that said Potty Trained.  But, you did it.  It’s as much your accomplishment as his.  So it is off to preschool.  Even if you have been sending Thing 1 to daycare since you finished maternity leave, preschool is a little different.  Oh my gosh and the choices.  You have to get Thing 1 into a great daycare so that he is ready for KIndergarten so that he excels in elementary school and then blows throw high school and finally gets into the college of his choice so he can have the career of your…oops…his dreams.  Or at least that is what everyone makes you feel like when Thing 1 is born.  Get in to the best preschool to lay the foundation.

You go to interviews with preschools.  You are on waiting lists for preschools.  It is more stressful than that horrible class at 8:00 in college that your advisor said you have to ace or you aren’t graduating.  Finally, you are in…oops….Thing 1 is in.  August rolls around and it is time for the first day.  My Thing 1 went to a learning center from birth to 4.  So for him it was a matter of changing from the baby building to the preschool building.  Luckily my Thing 1 had gotten into 2 amazing schools…preschool at a great learning center and then a parochial kindergarten.  That meant he paved the way for Thing 2 to get accepted into the preschool program at Thing 1’s parochial school.  Yes!  Much less work to get Thing 2 in.  But…oh no…this means Thing 2 had to have the dreaded FIRST DAY.  Depending on your preschool, you are purchasing the first uniform, first school supplies, all the first.  You are documenting everything about this special day.  Thing 1 gets to school that first day and…  I want to leave with mommy.  Then you are pulled in two directions.  You want Thing 1 to love preschool, but you are secretly smiling that Thing 1 still needs mommy.

 

With preschool well underway, you start to see ABC and 123 in your dreams.  You sing wheels on the bus as you go through your day.  It’s like you are going to preschool again.  But…what is better than the thought of cookies and kool-aid at 2 PM.  Oh if your grown up life could be like your child’s day…maybe you wouldn’t be so stressed.

By the time preschool ends you are still so amazed at how much THing 1 has changed.  All the new words they know, the conversations they have, the friends they make…it really is a great time.

 

 
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